Outer Mongolia's Archives of Random Facts
by Bowleena
Summary: A sideshot to 'Mail for Satoshi'. Satoshi and Krad finally read the letter from 'Outer Mongolia's Archives of Random Facts'. Contains OOCness I think, and random facts.
1. The begining of the insanity

AN : So, it;s the oneshot you've all been waiting for… Satoshi reads his letter from 'Outer Mongolia's Archives of Random Facts'!

Disclaimer: Well, I don't own DNAngel, or Outer Mongolia, but I was the one who made up Outer Mongolia's Archives of Random Facts!

_This is Satoshi's thinking, _**This is Krad's. **This is the letter.

I got these random facts from all over.

Satoshi looked at the letter on his bed. **So you're finally going to read it, my everything…** _UGH JUST SHUT UP KRAD!_Satoshi sat down and started reading.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." **English?**

No word in the English language rhymes with month. **Why is there info on English in Outer Mongolia's Archives of Random facts?**

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". **I don't even know English.**_ Really? That mean I really am smarter than you._

Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category. **… **_…_

Cat's urine glows under a black light. **UGH I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!** _You're cat-like, does that mean yours glows? Kidding, I don't need to know the answer._

The first Ford cars had Dodge engines. _Okaaaay…_

Almonds are members of the peach family. _And we need to know that… why?_

If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the total is 5050. _I knew that._

The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe. _Huh, I didn't know that. _**See, you're aren't THAT smart.**

Aregentine (and once, Krad) calls Dark 'Koku-yoku', 'Black Wings'. Does that mean Krad is 'Ukoy-Ukok', or 'Sgniw Kcalb'? Most likely not, but Ukoy-ukok is still fun to say! _That… is… SO FUNNY! Hey, Ukoy-ukok, how do you like your new name?_** I am going to track the author of this and kill him/her…**

The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis. _Cool word._ **I wish that was on your class's spelling list, even you could mess up on that one!**

There are more chickens in the world than people. **AH CHICKENS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!**

Until the 1960's men with long hair were not allowed to enter Disneyland. _Well, that is very random._

Gibraltar is the only place in Europe where you can find wild monkeys. **Monkeys…?**

If you sleep in a cold room, you are more likely to have a bad dream. **Maybe I should lock you in a cold room, then…**_ My dreams are bad enough of cause of you, you oni!_

The U.S. Government will not allow portraits of living persons to appear on stamps. **More English stuff.** _Actually, more AMERICAN stuff._ **Well, they speak the same language!** _I'm surprised a demon like you knows that much._

Abdul Kassem Ismael, Grand Vizier of Persia in the tenth century, carried his library with him wherever he went. The 117,000 volumes were carried by 400 camels which were trained to walk in alphabetical order. _That's a little… odd._

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. _Meow._** You're crazy.**  
Cats have over 100 vocal sounds, while dogs only have about 10. _And we care… why?_

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.** I can understand that…**  
You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a poisonous spider.** Um…**  
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why._ Quack._  
The milk of a hippopotamus is bright pink.** PINK?**  
The starfish is the only animal that can turn its stomach inside out._ Well that's slightly disgusting._  
Jellyfish do not have brains._ Just like you, Krad._** That's insulting yourself, you know. We share the same body. **_Not the same brain, though._** Then how do we share thoughts? **_Agh it's too confusing._  
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.** Who's he?**  
John Lennon's first girlfriends name was Thelma Pickles._Almost as crazy a name as Krad, or Dark._  
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. _…_  
Two-thirds of the worlds eggplant is grown in New Jersey, USA. **Eggplant…?**

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses, no-one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. _That would be hard to sing at an assembly._

Turkish towels are French and Indian ink comes form China. **…**

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. **Okaay…**

Mel Blanc (the voice of bugs bunny) was allergic to carrots. _That's an odd allergy._  
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its a wonderful life."** And we care… WHY?**  
The average women eats 20kg of lipstick in her life.** Glad I'm not a lady.**_ Or are you…?_** NO I'M NOT EVEN IF I DO HAVE LONG HAIR AND A FEMININE FACE I'M NOT A GIRL!**_ You just called yourself feminine, baka._ **Oops.**  
Like fingerprints everyone's tongue print is different._ Except tongue prints aren't very helpful at a crime scene._

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.** I bet if I yelled for that long, I could heat a hundred cups of coffee!** _You would have been killed by then, Krad._  
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.** …**  
Every two and a half years , there are two full moons in a month instead of the usual one full moon. The second full moon is called a blue moon._ Well, duh. Everyone knows that._  
If you toss a 5 cent piece 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.** Okaaay…**

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. **I bet Dark could make many perverted jokes outa that.**

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intraveinously. **What a wonderful murder weapon…**

The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean._ I knew that._** You know some strange things.**

Ingrown toenails are hereditary._ I knew that, too._ **See? What'd I tell you!**

"Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und." **More English stuff.**_Yes, Krad. How very observant of you._

AN: So, anybody want more random facts? I won't continue this unless I get 5 people asking, it takes too long.

Yay for blue popsicles, -Bowleena


	2. Another one?

AN : Duh duh daaaa! The next chapter! I'm REALLY sorry it took this long…! dodges flying missiles , but this story takes FOREVER! It's hard to find all the random facts. You know what has made me REALLY HAPPY? Susho Haruka-san has…

TRANSLATED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MAIL FOR SATOSHI INTO SPANISH!

Yay! That story is under my favorites. 

Okay, okay, here's the actual story.

_This is Satoshi thinking,_** This is Krad thinking,** and as always, I DON'T OWN DNANGEL!

It was the Romans who made the first popsicle. They took some ice and added flavour to it and then licked it. **Yummy…**

Did you know Sailor, Dead Leaf, Paper Kite, Blue Striped Crow, Julia and Great Egg Fly are all names of BUTTERFLIES. **Crazy names.**_ Almost as crazy as Krad… wait, didn't I already say something like that…?_** Short term memory loss much?**

A rat can last longer without water than a camel. _I knew that._ **…**

The mouse is the most common mammal in the US.** More English stuff?** _NO, Krad, AMERICAN._

Did you know moths are not really attracted to light? Moths fly towards the blackest point which is behind the light.** Let me guess, you knew that.** _Correct._

The rhinoceros's horn is made of the same stuff found in our hair and fingernails which is called keratin. It also contains something called gelatin.** And I suppose you knew that too?** _Bingo._

Ancients Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by giants fighting underneath the ground. The Ancient Japanese thought there was a giant spider living under the earth, and each time it moved, it caused the earth to quake. _I - _**KNEW THAT, I get it already!**

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.** Don't you dare say – **_I KNEW THAT._

The center of a super massive black hole is the size of a spec of dust. But, that spec of dust weighs 3 million times more than our sun. There was also an expired super nova that weighed one billion pounds per teaspoon. _I – _**SHUT UP!**

We know more about the surface of the moon than we do about the bottom of then ocean.**Don't even THINK of saying anything.**_ Um… that makes no sese. I don't talk to you, I think to you…_ **STUPID LOGIC! **

You have enough micro-organisms in your mouth to equal a cockroach._And I bet Krad has enough to equal ten._** Ten what?** _COCKROACHES, baka._ **Oh.**

A sneeze leaves your mouth a 100 miles per hour. _I – _**DON'T YOU DARE!**

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. And the first one was built partly by a prison inmate. He later died in it for murder. _I –_ **What, you knew that, too?** _Actually, if you'll let me finish my sentence, I didn't know that._ **Ohoho, not so smart now, ne? **_... Smarter than you._

Tennessee used to be called Franklin. **Let me guess, more American stuff?** _Wow, you actually got something right! Give the demon a hand. Figuratively, of course. _

Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark. **Who's he?** _The man who invented the light bulb._

If ribbon worms can't find any food, they will eat themselves. **EW!** _You sounded like Risa._ **Don't you dare call me the same as that little beep !**

The oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old. **Ew.**_ You sounded like Saehara-san there. The younger one._ **STOP COMPARING ME TO YOUR CLASSMATES!**

More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world. **Oh, oh, let ME answer first! I KNEW THAT!**

Satoshi sighed at his curse's immaturity, and then wondered how much letter he had left. He looked down…

**Well, at least it's not out the hallway anymore.**

AN: Well, it's not too long, but with the Canada Day long weekend, I haven't had much time on the computer. Review, please!

Ooh, and I know JUST the random fact to finish the whole story off with… but I'll have to wait a while. The story still has a couple chapters left in it! I think.

'Till next time,

Yay for blue popsicles, -Bowleena


	3. Blonde Jokes!

Hahaha I'm BAAAACCKK! I haven't updated AT ALL for, like, a month or more. And I haven't updated this story in… well, I don't really know. Oh well. This chapter is full of blonde jokes! I don't mean to dis blondes, especially as I am a blonde myself. They're not exactly facts, but then again, this was actually sent because of Dark. So, who knows what'll be in this story? Certainly not me! LOL Enjoy!

If you guys are confused about whose thoughts is whose, look at the other chapters! And, I STILL DON"T OWN DNANGEL!

Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?  
A: To hide the valve stem! _Hahahahahaha!_ ONG Satoshi can laugh. Well, at least he can laugh inside his head. **Ha. So amusing.** That was sarcastic, in case you didn't realize.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?  
A: Blow in his ear. Satoshi almost laughed out loud at that one. Krad on the other hand, was not so happy.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?  
A: "Thanks for the refill!" **I'm not an airhead! **Kad finally burst out._ Quite right, as you are in my head. I am not an airhead. If you had a body, though, you would no doubt be filled with helium. Then you could float away and leave me forever… _**Fat chance.**

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?  
A: Data transfer. _Ahahahahahaaaa! _Satoshi, you need to get a hold of yourself. You do not laugh.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?  
A: A wind tunnel. Satoshi is still laughing, Krad is still sulking…

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?  
A: Air Pockets Ditto last comment…

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?  
A: There's white-out on the screen. **We are not that stupid.**_ Oh yes you are. You told me to use whiteout when the file on my computer – _**I was new to this age! I know better now!** And Krad sulks once more.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?  
A: There's writing on the white-out. "Ha!"_ hahahahhaaa!_ Wow, he actually laughed.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?  
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once. Satoshi, what happened to you being the silent type? You're still laughing… wait, he can't hear me.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?  
A: Artificial intelligence. Satoshi is still laughing… Krad is still sulking.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask him if him blinker is working?  
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Ditto last comment…

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?  
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Ditto last comment…

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?  
A: You can park in the handicap zone. Ditto last comment…

Q: How did the dumb blonde break him leg raking leaves?  
A: He fell out of the tree. Ditto last comment…

Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?  
A: He missed the Earth! Ditto last comment…

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?  
A: He threw it off a cliff. _Well, here you go, Krad. One that is wrong. You know how to kill things._ **Very true. I know better than that. To kill a bird one must…** and Krad starts expaining how to kill a bird, complete with how to sauté it and with what type of mushroom. Satoshi just shakes his head, and continues reading the jokes.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?  
A: He drowns it. Krad is now explaining how to kill, cook and eat a fish.

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?  
A: He buries it. Krad is now expaining how to… kill, cook and eat a worm?.!.? _Ew._

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?  
A: Bigfoot has been sighted. "Haahaahaa!"_ hahahahahahahaa!_

Wow, Satoshi, you chatterbox! XD

AN: Hahaha that's so funny XD And we are not that stupid. Just to let you know.

And now you can wait another two months for another story out of me LOL just joking  I might have the next Mira Touketsu Toki out by as soon as next weekend! Wow.

Yay for blue popsicles, -Bowleena


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